I was laying in bed this morning until around 1:30 in the afternoon trying to figure out what to do with my day. Maybe I should go to the gym, or just stay in bed longer and watch a movie, or maybe even just lay in bed staring at the ceiling and let my thoughts consume me in an unhealthy way. Lately that is what I have been doing, letting my thoughts, past actions, mistakes, and feelings take over my body and leave me confused and unsteady about life as a whole. Whether you are on a break or on vacation, or in school or working, taking a breath is SO important for your mental stability. I realized if I was gonna sit and think about every single thing on my mind today, it wasn’t going to be like this. So, I got up and dressed, put on some makeup and a semi-cute outfit, grabbed my computer and a notebook, and drove to one of my new found favorite coffee shops recently. It’s filled with books, marble table tops, and inspiration. And of course, good coffee- a necessity. A lot has been on my mind lately, leading to sleepless nights and unsure thoughts about the reality I stuck myself in. Going back to school is scary. You’re suddenly surrounded by the people and temptations again that led you to your lost-minded reality. Even just seeing those people again takes you back to the sometimes unsteadiness you always felt around them, especially some in particular. And sometimes you make those same mistakes again. And after you make them, you think endlessly about every outcome from this possible mistake, and wonder what people will think and say, and go down this dark, mentally draining spiral about what you have done. When you find yourself stuck in that spiral, pick yourself up, dress in a cute outfit, grab a notebook and some colorful pens, and take yourself out to a cute coffee shop. It sounds basic, I know, but sitting somewhere surrounded by creative people and items sending you good vibes and inspiration can instantly change the way you look at life. Sometimes, actually a lot of times, you end up lost. I’m not saying this will help you instantly find yourself and your whole meaning of life, but it is a way to get you started towards a reality you’re not only stuck in, but one that you love being stuck in. One that you don’t want to escape. One where you will do everything in your power to keep yourself in.
Something I have been telling myself lately is to push forward to the best day of your life. As you get older, the best days keep changing and getting better and better and you will experience so many of them. The painful days and periods of time only put it all into perspective, and make the best days stick out even more. This makes me thankful for it all, the painful periods and the unapologetic blissful periods. It all just keeps getting better, and fills you with even more wisdom and experience. All you can do in the painful periods is pick yourself up, grab a notebook, and get inspired. Put your pain to creativity, and make something so inspiring that you can look back on it when you are happy and realize the pain was worth it. The pain is always worth it. Whether it is pain you create, or pain brought upon you that you had no control over whatsoever, come out stronger in the end and always remember the pain is worth it. Step back, breathe, drink some coffee, and tell yourself the pain is ALWAYS worth it.
We all make mistakes, small or large it is always life changing and makes you really think. Recently I made a mistake that I don’t even know if I consider a mistake, which really doesn’t make sense. I don’t know if I regret it or not, but I do know it is something that has taken my bliss and turned it into something resembling pain. I have been letting it consume me for about a week or so now, and it is something that going back to school may trigger again, but I can’t help but be thankful for this. I always try to stay thankful for the even the dark periods. If I feel it taking my body over, I don’t stay in bed and stress over it until my brain is worn out (okay well, sometimes I do), but I get up and write. Writing it all out has always been my way of dealing with the pain. Just getting it all out there is so calming and freeing to me. Writing leads me to inspiration, which leads me to going out and conquering. Even if it’s just blobby writing (like every single one of my blog posts, sorry!), where I just let all of my thoughts and feelings spill out. It is SO. FREEING.
Take on the pain, accept the pain, conquer the pain, and be thankful for the pain. It is always worth it. Until Next Time…
(p.s. the lemon quote is from the show This Is Us. If you haven’t watched it, it is one of the most amazing and eye opening shows I have ever seen in my life. I will probably do a whole blog post on it soon, but WOULD RECOMMEND!!)